My husband and I were together for eleven whole years before we got married, but it’s only since saying our vows that the world has expressed displeasure with my propensity for traveling solo.
Eleven years isn’t an obscenely large amount of time to maintain boyfriend-girlfriend status for high school sweethearts, but it’s a decent period in which to thoroughly get to know one another. We began dating on April 1st 2005, and by that July I had absconded to the tiny town of Villa Del Totoral in the Argentinean countryside, where my uncle lived at the time.
It was during this adventure that I recognized my dependence on others for keeping me entertained, structured, and even fed. I was fifteen, but I knew then and there that my reality was whatever I made of it, an epiphany common to travelers who spend a lot of time alone. It was obvious how travel and the challenges it presents could impact my self-awareness in a positive way.
There was never a question of whether I would continue on that month long trip rather than prioritize my young relationship.
Sure we were teenagers, and at that age it’s not unusual to see friends and lovers disappear for a few weeks with their families or away to camp, but for my relationship it immediately set the expectation that travel would always be a big part of my life, and an important one at that. This was cemented the following summer when I once again took off, this time to Ecuador and The Galapagos.
My desire to explore the world on my own continued on that trajectory, always with the support of my partner, friends, and family.
But that attitude took a turn once the rings were on and the papers were signed.
Not for my partner, who continued urging me to pursue the solo traveling habit that I had let die down for the prior few years, but among my peers and the world at large.
Immediately following the wedding I began planning a two month trip to Central America to gather photos and stories for my wildlife magazine, The Naturalist. I was pretty damn excited to be getting back out on the road, testing my mettle and rebuilding my resilience while pursuing a lifelong dream, the kinds of personal improvement catalyzed by travel. I never once considered it an affront to the commitment my peers had recently witnessed, a commitment that existed well before it became officially recognized by the government.
Others weren’t so convinced:
“He’s letting you travel alone for that long?” they asked, suggesting that my husband is somehow responsible for my actions.“Don’t you think he’ll leave you while you’re gone?” I was warned. But let’s face it: if he wants to jump ship because I peaced out for a few weeks, then he’s probably not the person I want to grow old with. “Didn’t you just get married?” asked many, implying that being a wife means being tied to her husband’s hip.
I do wonder if the roles were reversed, would my husband receive the same level and intensity of questioning? I imagine not. Extended business trips are par for the course for men, from seafaring Vikings to modern-day executives. People are not yet accustomed to women occupying the same roles, and I suppose it undermines their expectations of how a wife should behave.
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that these comments got me down. Even I questioned the validity of my journey and my priorities in general when confronted in this way by people I truly respected. Now that I was a wife, maybe it really was important for the marriage that I remain at home…but doing what, exactly? I’m a freelance writer, I’m trying to launch a business, and also I want to travel alone. Would it really make our relationship stronger if I were to be tied down?
The answer of course is a resounding, “no.”
I’m writing this from a little cafe called Eva’s in San Ignacio, Belize. Not because I’ve abandoned my husband, but because, by pursuing the activities that serve me, I’ll be the version of myself that ultimately makes me a better me, and a better partner.
And because I like traveling solo. I like the way it forces me to depend on myself, to get creative in solving surprise problems, how I end up making more friends to avoid the loneliness every solo traveler faces at some point during their adventure. Some 1950s version of housewifery isn’t me, and I refuse to abide by that stereotype.
Besides, being single, married, or anywhere in-between should have no bearing on whether or not we pursue the things that make us happy. So I will continue traveling on my own, calling home when I can, and feeling secure with the knowledge the my partnership and my choices belong to me, and no one can take them, or the world, from me.
[divider] Guest Contributor [/divider]
Ali Wunderman is a freelance travel writer and founder of the wildlife magazine, The Naturalist. You can find her jetsetting around the globe in search of strange creatures, exploring her hometown of San Francisco, and on Twitter.
157 Comments
Korrin L. Bishop
Love this! Travel on, girl, and woo hoo for having a partner that sees the value in it!
Erin Felton
It’s so great to see this post. I’m also a married woman who loves solo travel…and I always get excited when I meet someone who understands that the wanderlust doesn’t just disappear after marriage!
Nina
Ignore the people who have negative opinions, or turn the question back to them- “Oh, so your spouse doesn’t trust you to travel alone? How unfortunate to live with someone who doesn’t trust you.” My husband and I don’t limit each other with timelines for travel. It’s always outsiders that don’t understand how a partnership can exist without being tied to each other (or they have trust issues). Glad you wrote this piece! Keep on keepin on 🙂
heatherhudak
Fantastic post! I’ve been married 15 years to a man who can take or leave travel. I, on the other hand, can’t leave it, and he’s cool with that. But it’s amazing to me how many people ask if my marriage is in trouble because I go away so often without him or how I get “permission” from my husband to travel. My particular favorite is, “How will you kiss at midnight if you’re in Paris and he’s back home?” If my marriage is hinging on a midnight kiss, we have bigger problems than me being on the road! He and I just laugh it off.
afronese
Lol. “If my marriage is hinging on a midnight kiss, we have bigger problems than me being on the road!” Nice one
almamexicana
I loved this: “by pursuing the activities that serve me, I’ll be the version of myself that ultimately makes me a better me, and a better partner”, you could not put it in better words. Thanks for sharing this, I 100% agree with you and I am very happy more women in the world feel this way.
afronese
Same here. I meet very few women who think like this I appreciate each and every woman who thinks like this.
JodiDejong
I can SO identify with this! I’ve been married 34 years, have 3 kids and 4 grand kids. 8 years ago my husband and I started traveling (I’d been a traveler before marriage, him not so much). It became evident that travelling is MY passion, not his so I’ve gone away for the past 3 winters on my own. I got a lot of “comments” from others. I TOTALLY get where you’re coming from when you ask if a man would get the same questions. If he goes away nobody invites ME for dinner. People ask how he’ll fare without me. I tell them he’s a grown man. I’m sure he can figure it out. He’s actually learned to enjoy the time I’m gone as the opportunity to do “man stuff” without having to make sure he’s home for dinner. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost friends over it as they just can’t identify with me anymore. My priorities aren’t the same as theirs. My home is comfortable but utilitarian. I throw blankets (that I got on a trip) over worn furniture as it’s still comfortable and I’d rather spend that money on plane tickets. I don’t even own a car anymore as I can buy a lot of plane tickets with the cost of maintaining it and hubby and I share just fine. My grand kids think I’m the coolest grandma ever. 😀 Just because one is married, doesn’t mean you have to be attached at the hip and enjoy everything your partner does. You go girl!
Kollin
I loved this! I get questions all the time like this when it comes to traveling solo and what their thoughts are on it. Frankly, I don’t give a damn! Do what you know is best for you and your soul, it’ll be best for him at the end of the day.
recruitingontheinside
People have a prescribed view of marriage all around. A man would receive negative feedback after marrying for abandoning his family and leaving his wife alone. It is this idea that you so eloquently capture, about being tied at the hip.
Stephanie Linder
Thank you for your article. Although I am not married yet, my boyfriend and I currently live in different countries (only temporarily) and sometimes people look at me like I have six heads for sharing agreeing to this arrangement. So I feel your pain, and sometimes it’s easy to let other people’s opinions and comments get you down. However, I think what you’re doing is awesome. I know for me, the distance has made my relationships so strong. I found this article when I needed a pick me up at the exact moment – so thank you. Keep exploring and I will now be following your progress on Twitter!
Cathy (Mummytravels)
Great post – I had exactly the same before when a friend said to my husband, ‘You’re letting her go without you?’ We both thought the idea of him ‘letting’ me was hilarious! I’ve been travelling solo on and off (for short trips) throughout our marriage… almost 13 years now. And now I take our daughter with me.
Francesca - From Pennies to Pounds
I love this. There is no way on earth my hubby would let me do this though lol. But we have a daughter so it is completely different. Although I am thinking about taking her on holiday next year just the two of us.
Madeline Potted
I love this! Thanks for writing and thanks for representing solo travel so beautifully 🙂
Annie Hillman
Your travels and marriage are based on strength of character and believing in your partners’ commitment to you, as well as your to his. How wonderful to go and be yourself as well as keep up the love you have for your job. The current lifestyle of people in relationships seems to be based on mistrust and jealousy. Apparently, not yours. How wonderful and free you both must feel, and how refreshing it is when you are together, with so much to talk about and share! Blessings on your adventures and marriage.
Ali
Love this! My husband and I met while he was living in Germany and I was in the US, so we got used to being apart. Now that we’re married and both living in Berlin, we do travel quite often. We met through Twitter and our travel blogs, so a mutual love of travel was there from the start. But I’m much more passionate about traveling than he is, and he understands that I need it more than he does. I even took off on a 5 month round the world trip just a few months after we got married, which was mostly solo, partly with a friend, and two weeks where he met me in New Zealand. So now sometimes I plan a trip for just me, and he stays home. Or he’ll go do his thing (usually a board game convention that I have no interest in) and I’ll plan a trip for the same time. Or I’ll go on a trip with a friend. There’s no reason you have to do everything with your partner simply because you’re married. You still have to stay true to yourself, otherwise you aren’t the person he fell in love with.
Natalie
I love this perspective. When my first marriage was falling apart, I can look back and see that I had wanderlust. Sadly, I never did anything about that. Until now! I have young children and that burning desire to travel and show them the world is back. We are waiting on their passports and then we will jet off for a few weeks!
Tiffany D Soukup
Well written and expressed article. I just read this straight through. You hit on so many points. I loved all the points you brought up and they got me thinking more deeply. Thank you so much for writing this article.
Linda
EXCELLENT article. Whether it’s travel or some other passion that makes YOU, you. Beautifully written and a great reminder for the rest of us souls pursuing all our loves with the time have.
Eileen
Love the article. As a married woman of 40 years I have a few solo trips under my belt. A trip to India for 3 weeks and 2 trips to Ghana on medical missions and a third trip scheduled for March 2017 are my claims to fame. I love traveling by myself – not having to worry about another’s comfort and concerns. Maybe it’s because I can reconnect with the old me before I was a wife,mother and grandmother. Absolutely LOVE my travels.
Anita
I have to say that traveling together has been one of the joys of my marriage–that time together and reminiscing about the memories later has really strengthened our bonds. To each their own!
Amber Butler-Darnell
I thought this story sounded familiar. . . http://www.oneikathetraveller.com/why-i-travel-without-my-husband.html
Brooke
I love this so much! Other people’s relationship insecurities should not make you question the strength of your own relationship. 🙂 Keep doing you!
the blue wanderer
I wrote something simular about a year ago.
The questions I got for leaving my husband behind!!
He has always suported me and my travels. For fun or for work.
And I think we might even be unique as I went on a SOLO HONEYMOON… hahaha. He joined for two days and had to go back to work. I took the campervan out for another week on my own.
sparklingpinkstar
This is absolutely an amazing writing and it helps me view the world in a more different aspects. it widens my perspective and encourage me to be an open-minded person. Great work!!
randomthoughtsofmine2016
Love the post! Its awesome and so true… “Besides, being single, married, or anywhere in-between should have no bearing on whether or not we pursue the things that make us happy.”
Sam
OMG YES. I absolutely love this. I’m getting ready to make a big move to follow my career dreams and it will take me away from my husband. I know some people are going to have a problem with it, they’re going to think that something is “wrong” with our marriage or relationship. At first I was worried about what they’d say, but now I don’t care. My husband is 100% supportive and HE is the only one that matters in this situation. I think the fact that we can last and be incredibly happy as a couple even when we’re not physically together speaks volumes about our emotional connection.
w1nt3l
I value my time alone, so I can respect and understand why you travel alone. My wife of 16 years has gone away for weeks at a time with me at home working and doing jobs around the house that would trigger my wife and daughters asthma. The only place I’ve been to outside the U.S. has been Bermuda and it was for business. I’m itching to travel and see the world, my wife on the other hand isn’t so enthusiastic. I’ve reserved myself to living vicariously through the travel others write about 🙂 At least for the short term, I still have hope my wife will want to travel before I’m too old to enjoy it.
Eloquent210
If traveling alone makes u happy then u should definatly do it. After all its u who will regret if u dont do something that makes u happy not others☺
somanineha
Wow.. inspiring
Dawn
I was thinking about writing a post something like this just last week. I retired this year and spent most of this summer camping (in small segments, never more than a week at a time) alone, sometimes with the dog, sometimes without the dog. Always without my husband of 26 years who hates camping. People began to question, one even said “I can’t remember, are you married? And he lets you go off as much as you do?” I tried not to be offended. And even in the campgrounds people come up to ask me if I’m camping alone. I doubt they would do that to a man.
Great piece. I wish you well with the magazine! I’ll go explore that next.
plaidandrose
Bravo! Before I was married I did everything solo….travel…etc. Then I got that ring and all of a sudden I forgot how to do things on my own. It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I decided, if I want to see and do the things I want to do and see, then I need to be the woman I was before I got married. And you know what? I’m a much better person for it.
Dalo 2013
Solo travels, solo time spent apart, I believe keep the interest, excitement and curiosity at a higher level in a marriage. Culture and society tend to look on in horror over such thought, but it is changing…all for the better. Wonderful post.
Icelandica
Yeah, love this. Especially this:
“And because I like traveling solo. I like the way it forces me to depend on myself, to get creative in solving surprise problems, how I end up making more friends to avoid the loneliness every solo traveler faces at some point during their adventure.”
We become closer to who we are, I believe, when we travel alone. We wind up constantly re-discovery ourselves.
lupitatucker
As a young woman, my dream man was someone who would want to travel the world with me, who loved to travel as much as I do, and could make me laugh. I have been a lifelong traveler. It is something that sustains me, inspires me, empties me out and fills me back up. My husband and I have been married for 18 years. We have 5 children. I travel alone every year. Despite the fact that he misses me terribly, he accepts this as part of me. We travel a lot together and our five children, sometimes just the two of us, but mostly all 7 of us together. But, he understands that traveling is more of a need for me than for him, so he lets me go alone, too. If he wanted to do a trip by himself I would encourage him to go, no question. He rarely wants to, though. Whereas I start planning my next trip almost as soon as I get back from the last one.
People Rebuilders Foundation
The world does nothing for you so live your life. Great read.
frikigirlblog
If you like it, why not. I had to travel alone many years because my ex-partner did not like travelling. Now I have a boyfriend who travels with me. Words cannot describe how happy I am. I agree with Tove Jansson, a Finnish novelist: “what do you do with a pretty seashell if you cannot show it to anyone.”
fromdreamtoplan
Great post and really interesting! As a femel traveler who never traveled solo it has been really useful to read this, thank you very much for sharing! 🙂
Lisa | http://www.fromdreamtoplan.net/
Deepika Arora
Applauds! This is my dream. However, working on saving currently. Keep going and glad that you have got such an understanding partner.
marissajohnson
I’m sure your travels keeps things really exciting. I know sometimes, when you see and do the same things everyday, things can get boring. Communication is the key to marriage, not physical location.
goldenmakeupbrush
I would love to be able to do this. I love travelling & my husband not so much. I think some where I have only imposed these restrictions on me, following the social norms, of how can I travel for fun just by myself. Am I not expected to have all the fun with my husband. Of course if I need to travel for work or some emergency then its justified that my husband misses on it but fun, oh no…. Hope some day I break myself out of this by reading inspiring stories of others….
timgothic
i am an aspiring freelance writer with an immense passion for adventures but might dream is currently not underway yet due to financial barriers…. how did you sponsor your trips when you were starting off and how do you sponsor your trips currently?
Kristina Steiner
Great post. People put their ideas on others. If you are happy and your relationship works, who the hell cares?? You are first an individual and then a partner. And you are right, he wouldn’t receive so much backlash. I think (for all it matters) that you are doing the right thing – you are true to yourself and to both of you.
timGothic
I am an aspiring freelance writer with an immense passion in adventures but i have not yet kick-started my dream yet due to financial barriers…what means did you apply to sponsor your trips when you were starting off as a newbie…and what methods do you employ at the moment to keep your travelling passion afloat?
Annie
I love thiss…:)
MellowSong
I admire your courage and independence. In you, i see the potentials a woman can achieve. Often i am busy to please others, but forgot to please the most important person – myself. It’s a truly inspiration to read your story. Keep traveling!
Brezilyada Bir Türk
I love this post Thank you for all.
happyhousewife557
You’re not alone . I get a lot of criticism every time I try to work even seasonal . I get a lot of you’re not thinking of your husband and kids. Thank you for such a beautiful and relatable post . Happy traveling , and congrats on your marriage
Krysann Joye
Well said!
When my mom was sick I travelled 900 miles away from my husband to spend several months at a time with her – which is not recreational, but still travel – and I got lots of, “How great that your husband lets you do this!” as though he didn’t have to. As though it would be reasonable for him to tell me I couldn’t be with my dying mother because it would mean his having to cook and clean and live on his own…? And as if I would acquiesce. ha! We both found it odd. I’m grateful to be married to someone who sees me as my own person, but I’m also grateful for clean drinking water… Both should be givens, not privileges. 🙂
Lovely post and happy travels!
L
It is a partnership and a friendship, not a ball and chain. I appreciate this post. Very inspiring.
kattkadotme
Well i’m traveling on my own too.. I’m not married but in long relationship.
Nothing wrong with it,well personally I think every couple need some time off.. To take a breath..
And it’s lovely to come back when someone waiting for you with flowers and delicious dinner… 😉
Micha
I love it!! Beautiful attitude, your husband knows who he married and that you would be this way even after the marriage. I don’t understand why people think so much should change after you sign a piece of paper. It really is sad that society encourages women to give up their lives and dreams in order to support their husband… Sure why not… If that is whaf you want to do… But if you don’t and you want to pursue your own dream, you should. It is refreshing to see you doing what you love and your partner supporting you, what a beautiful relationship!
leiah
Yay! I love this. I have too many kids to just up and travel without my husband and kids but one day maybe I will & I totally think it’d be okay to go solo!
luvita12
I love this! As a wife I feel that people sometimes make some silly comments. Its like as a couple you have to be together all the time and there is no separation. I think what really keeps it going is the adventure that both the husband and the wife contribute or experience individually. Thanks for writing I really enjoyed.
pllplady
This is a fantastic point of view. It is so refreshing to hear of a woman who knows what is important and fulfilling to her. It’s marvelous that your husband is so understanding, and I can honestly say that I am jealous!! Enjoy your travels.
kalison0515
It’s hard to believe that in 2016 this is still an issue. I’m single, never married, and I travel solo. Some of my married friends won’t travel without their husbands. My mother said the same about her friends, and she’s almost 90. My parents were married for 60 years, and my mother traveled solo for almost 40 of those years. She’s never stopped. In fact, she left for China the other day to celebrate her 90th birthday in a couple of weeks.
eastwinglifestyle
Reading this I thought for a moment that I had written it myself as it is just as I feel and think. You are both exceptional and the respect you have for yourself and each other will ensure a healthy, loving marriage. Keep safe – Margaret
thelongview
Great post! I love to travel solo too, but rarely get away. It’s not my husband who holds me back – our dog does that job.
Marie
I so respect the fact that you have a partner that is so accepting and understanding of this part of you. I’m not surprised that people gave you a hard time at first, I’m just glad that you still want ahead with your travels and that you and your husband have a system that works for you. That’s what matters. Happy trails!😉
dreambigger93
This is great, this is how it should be. Enjoy your life.
Ally
I hope you take your husband with you every now and again. You’d teach him so much. Awesome blog!
KaeJaye Xpressions
Awesome Read!! I am battling some inner thoughts about this very thing. I appreciate your willingness and bravery to cater to you foremost even in Marriage!
rachelpfrazin
Thanks so much for sharing this! I got married a couple months ago and one of my big fears was that I would have no more independent adventures. It’s nice to know that it is possible, as long as people support each other!
Manu Bhatnagar
Amazing post, as if you read my mind.. loved it
Ahlawat vishal
Hm totally agreed…
Vanessina
I loved this. We should never lose our dreams. I wish you more travels and more joy discovering the world 🙂
Adriana
You’te right! Thanks to share with us. Doesn’t matter the circunstances only be happy!
Travordable
I love traveling alone, too. But a lot of people don’t understand how awesome that is. Sometimes I get a lot of skeptical looks or comments: Why are you alone here? Didn’t you find somebody to come with you?
I think, traveling alone is freedom. Going to places, I’d love to see without depending on other people’s schedule or interests.
sharepointcrib
“I’ll be the version of myself that ultimately makes me a better me, and a better partner.”..Truly said.
chloelizabee
As a girl who can barely leave the house alone without some kind of internal panic I really admire you for this. We should be able to maintain a sense of our own identity and independence no matter who we’re with and what stage of life we are at. It’s refreshing to see someone being so unapologetically themselves without giving in to others, especially those closest to them. Thank you for the example set to all of us.
Cobos17
This really resonates with me! Now I’m engaged people seem to think I should do everything with my husband once I’m married. I actually quite like my own company so thanks for reminding me it’s ok to do my own thing sometimes!
La Dee
I love traveling on my own. The sense of freedom, exhilaration and adventure it all brings is very satisfying. Im not married though im single. I actually just posted my recent trip on my blog , go check it out! traveltoots.com
Maylynn
Nice article. There is something that I don’t understand though: if your husband and you agree on your solo travelling, why does the world need to intervene, like or dislike? It is none of anyone’s business! Keep on travelling solo and collect for us nice photos and articles!
Kimmy
Love the article and agree completely with doing what you love and being independent and self actualized. Just having trouble with the naïveté of the question, “Why does the world need to intervene?” Because they will and they do. Even if you don’t ask (or care) for their opinions, those close to you may demand answers. Worse, they may not ever ask direct questions regarding their off-base suspicions, and go ahead and start rumors and give misinformation regarding one or both persons being unfaithful or in some weird kind of open relationship. Or potentially they think they are providing helpful counsel when they are really trying to plant suspicion to be divisive between husband and wife. Not just random people – we’re talking parents, in-laws, close friends and family. I agree with you about keeping on traveling. This article is so valuable because it increases awareness that women, just like men, should be free to independently pursue business, self improvement and happiness projects without the judgement that we DO currently face.
stillkeighs
Makes me want to do more solo exploring! Bit of a challenge in a wheelchair but there is such a lovely freedom in travelling along.
Daniel McNamara
Brilliant post. I too often travel alone, following the end of a long term relationship. Massive respect to your husband for encouraging you to pursue your passions of solo travel. Do you sometimes wish you were sharing the amazing views and experiences with someone – just to affirm what you are seeing and share a “wow” moment?
Amy
I think it’s amazing that you go off on your travels alone and I don’t see why others think it’s a problem that you go without your husband. I do things without my husband all the time and being a full time mum I also need a break so I have been known to go away and leave my husband and the children for a whole weekend!! I am secure enough in our relationship to do things without him and he feels the same.
quesnelly
Lots of relies from women. Understandably, the same goes for men. “Besides, being single, married, or anywhere in-between should have no bearing on whether or not we pursue the things that make us happy.”
I have always pursued more athletic pursuits than my wife who has always been supportive. No one ever thinks twice when one travels alone for work reasons, but somehow look askance when the solo travel is for pleasure.
I really have 2 choices: stay home and do little, or travel to venues where my interests can be served. My wife sometimes accompanies me where she can also find different activities of her own interest, but has no compunction letting me head off on my own pursuits. I also have no compunction when she does the same, but I admit my interests do draw me away much more frequently. We wouldn’t have it any other way.
spamfred
Fab post. Of course you should continue to travel; it’s likely that those making the comments were jealous that you’ve taken control of your own life.
Shelby Boyde
I love this! Honestly, I could never travel on my own because it terrifies me but it’s great you’re doing what you want to do with encouragement from your husband. Sadly, there will always be people looking down on you for this, but I think they’re just jealous they don’t have the courage you have to do what you want. Keep it up!
FoxintheForest117
Traveling alone is such a rewarding experience. Especially when being in a long term relationship. I lived in Malaysia for 4 months on my own while dating someone (it ended up not working out because that person would not let me be me and put down my adventurous spirit). My current partner is constantly reminding me that if I need to get away solo he will always be there when I return. As a free spirited woman I need to know that freedom is there. If there is no support for the other’s passions and interests there’s no love. Keep at it and enjoy the journey 🙂
Ourtripylife
I loved reading this! You seem to have such a great self-awareness. Some people go their whole lives without ever knowing or experiencing the things that will truly fulfill them for fear of what others may think. Bravo for taking control of your own happiness. Enjoy your travels!
Girls Perspective
really good read. As a blog who is all about womens Empowerment it was interesting and refreshing to see a woman who isnt defined and constrained to what society sees as her womanly duty especially being married!
Daydreaming18
I love this post. I love how it shows marriage is a part of who you are and it’s not something that takes over your life. Keep going and live the dream that many wish to do so.
afronese
OMG WOOOOOW ALI, you are such a phenomenal woman. I am supporting you all the way from Japan and I just moved her from South Africa to teach English. It is so refreshing to know that there are women out there minded like me. I am not alone in my desire to travel the world alone after all. I am looking forward to reading more from you.
guptasaab
This is actually a pretty inspiring read. I’m not married so I can’t comment on that much, but I really enjoyed your take on why you travel by yourself. I’ve travelled by myself a few times and always found myself lonely and wishing for another travelling partner rather than a few one-time friends. But reading your perspective is refreshing and has actually inspired me to continue travelling alone. I hadn’t quite looked at it the way you do — travelling alone has actually made me more self-reliant, taught me about myself, and led to some good friends and wonderful memories. I always reflected on my loneliness (no matter how short) and forgot about the great things, which you have pointed out! Thank you for this!
drofwhat
Love this! Such a great attitude to have!
traceyobrienblog
Loved this article! What an inspiration for women. A few years ago I realised a long held dream of studying French cuisine at Le Cordon Bleu. I was in London for three months while my husband remained in NZ. He was incredibly supportive and so happy that I had the opportunity to do it. It was a great success and one of the best times of my life. Why should women give up on their dreams simply because they are married?
Nidhi Upadhyay
Travelling Solo is one of my checklist in my life . Let see when i am able to achieve this.
jamescardus
Great read, and great message!
fourofclub
This is really interesting to read from my perspective, because I was convinced to “go travelling” now that I’m young, single and not attached to anyone or anything because “soon it will be too late”. I took that advice, and I’m almost halfway though a round the world tour (that I’m blogging as I go, if you’re interested, take a look) and I wouldn’t change it for the world, but now I have a new way of thinking.
I’m not going to let anyone come between me and my passions, just like I wouldn’t wanna get in the way of any future partner/husband’s. So thanks.
nvsubbaraman
Great write up. Thanks.
Jamie Atkinson
What a great blog post, thanks for sharing
Esa
A story I can really relate to <3
slayknoxslay
I love this! Your identity is not a wife. It is a person. Your writing style is amazing too. Love this article
afragrantlive
I Love this post. Thank you for encouraging married woman to remain true to who they are..not only for themselves but for their marriage.
realadvice4modernmoms
Excellent post. I was just recently writing about similar subjects. The worlds view really has been skewed to men being individuals and independent while women have been unfairly packaged to their families and husbands, as though we cannot possibly be individuals anymore. Good to see a woman doing here own thing and also props to the hubby who recognizes you as an individual!
crownshi3
omg!!! I admire that lifestyle of yours. I wish my future husband to be would give me that type of freedom.
Feel free to follow me too @
crownshi3.wordpress.com
Kumar Govindan
I am a married man: and I think I you have woken up a sleeping husband! I have loved & enjoyed travelling alone, though not as prolific: but, looking back, the little unsaid pleasures are immeasurable!
Jill
Interesting article and I enjoyed reading everyone’s comments. We are also doing a lot of travelling now that we are retired. However I wouldn’t want to go alone, I want to share it with my husband. I think if we both didn’t love travelling, neither of us would go alone. I definitely would not. I think I would feel quite lonely. I admire you for not giving up your dreams and you are both happy, so good on you! Anyway, it is not anyone else’s business and I am amazed at their rude comments.
annikaswunderkiste
What a strong woman! Keep traveling! 🙂
casualtravelasshole
I loved this article. Perfect timing for me, as I’m planning to travel for the first time without my partner. I’m still young and I’m just beginning to realise that you should firstly satisfy your own needs in order to become the best version of yourself, even in a relationship.
The Huntress
Wow! I’ve been meaning to travel alone.
runningonthego
Great post!
Mimi G.
Sometimes I really want to take a solo trip, but my husband loves to travel just as much as I do? So I can’t decide if it would be unfair to leave him behind…
Mary Duncan
It is wonderful to know a young woman travel so long alone. Trust me, it is a night mare for me.i wish all woman are like you.
Marriage is something special and precious. Next time do not hear from others but do talk to your partner for a decision. When we involve many in a marriage, confusions can rise up. And I guess that’s the one thing which ended in your life too. But I am wishing and praying that you will get a good partner who will love and talk to you…..:)
Still…..your courage needs a salute from me. And I do that.
Godthingblog
I recently moved to Florida for work and here I have no family and I’m currently in the process of finding new friends. I’ve realized just how much I depend on the company of other to be happy and have fun. There are so many things to do here but I don’t want to do them alone so I usually sit at home but I’ve decided to venture out more and see what’s out there. I need to find my happy place!
belinda munyeza
Amazing post. This is a beautiful reminder to stay true to what sets your soul on fire, regardless of other people’s views of it. There is often stigma associated with a lot if unconventional choices women make and this post shows that unconventional isn’t always wrong.
Jimmy Lem
Great post. For years, similar things have bothered me…essentially those who are not so sure about their own relationships try so hard to make their least common denominator be the “norm” and pass it on to those who refuse to settle. Congrats by the way.
Rachit
It’s difficult to defy orthodox or usual beliefs, the female gender is stronger than male in every sense. Be proud of yourself, this blog will inspire many…
liveonborrowedtime
Your courage to travel on your own really inspires me! I regularly find myself looking at plane tickets to places I’m dying to visit, only to close the browser when I realize no one will want to go with. Definitely something I need to get over. Don’t let anyone make you second guess yourself, sounds like you’re right on track with both your relationship and your passions!
thescrape.org
I just did my first solo travel and absolutely loved it. Completely agree with you, it’s amazing how independent and strong it makes you feel and I can’t wait to do more of those trips to discover the world 🙂
amu2409
I love this post. I’m sure it will inspire more people to pursue their passion for traveling solo. I would surely want to travel solo and experience how it feels. Thank you very much for this post, my best wishes for you travel adventures:)
curlswaveszigzags
Love this perspective & analysis of expectations of society.
Karlie Vida
I really admire that you’re both keeping your identity and uniting with someone in marriage. While I’m unmarried, I feel like this is something that my friends and I have noticed: so many of our girl friends get married and suddenly they are unable to do anything they were before, they just do what their husbands do all the time. It’s been a little disconcerting and made me wonder if their identities before marriage were really just identities they’d have until they were married. On the other hand, I do see the importance of unity in marriage and doing things together. Anyway, I admire your spirit for travel and doing so solo!
Karlie http://thetatteredpassport.wordpress.com
disbtxh
Coming from a 20 year old who is in love with flitting about the world, I know it seems a little skeptic but sometimes I would wonder if my travelling about would affect my future relationships and plans to settle down. Its refreshing to see so many women happily married and in relationships that encourage them to explore and experience things on their own. Thanks for the inspiring post and wish all you wonderful women happy travels!
Treyce Montoya's Blog
I travel a lot for business and pleasure. I love traveling alone. I love spending time with me… I am my best friend. I think doing so has helped build more trust and a better bond between us. Besides, I am an outdoor person, he is a social “give me a bar” kinda guy. I like quiet time; he likes it buzzin’. Having private space gives us time to enjoy our hobbies and, when I return home, we are extra-happy to see each other. Great article.
deepanilamani
Very entertaining post. You are brave. I can understand how others comments got to you. Always those who are different comes under attack, but you have been brave and gone on ahead. I don’t have that desire or the courage to travel alone. But that’s me. I have a different personality. We are all born unique to each other and we must pursue that who we are. To be me. You have shown the world the value of being you by giving out Your gift. Thank you for your post. Best of Luck with your adventures and life. Many blessings of love and light from me ❤️
creatingkings
Follow your heart and listen to your gut. Say perhaps you DID decide to stay with your husband instead of traveling. What then? If your inner purpose is to explore, to travel, to see the world and experience it then you’ll only find yourself later loathing your husband and/ore yourself (be it conscious or subconscious) for your choice. Do what your heart tells you though and your life might not always be easy but it will never be one to regret.
culturemagazineafrica
Interesting thoughts… indeed. We at the Culture Magazine are exploring tales of brave women this September as well
1snafu4u
Good for you! Dreams shouldn’t die because your married. We’ve been married for twenty and together for thirty total. Time flies when your happy with your partner. We only married for the paperwork. We didn’t really need one. Just easier to show whomever needed to see it. 😉
bookbuffoonery
How wonderful to have a husband who is supportive of your dreams and passions! You’re a fortunate woman indeed!
Terminal Traveler
Keep being you! After all, you must love yourself first. Changing yourself would only backfire. Besides, he probably fell in love with your wild spirit! ✈️
New England Townie
Thank you for writing and sharing your story. I love traveling alone, but I am often met with similar sentiments because I have a young daughter. But I genuinely believe that traveling alone–even just for a short trip–makes me a better woman and mother. Great post.
weightlossorgainnoissues
Inspiring post. When we are married its not the world but our conscience which bothers us to take decision that make us completely happy. Marriage is only beautiful when one happy person marries another happy person to remain happy for the rest of their life, if any one of them has to sacrifice to keep the other happy that’s survival not love.
LucyBelleLove
This story really relates to my life and relations.
Thank you for highlighting that there doesn’t have to be a permanently black and white view point
on career vs. relationship!
authorpradeeps
We live only once. Live your life to the fullest and share your adventures, will be more than happy reading them.
Gosh
I never thought of coming to this site but somehow I accidentally came here and this story made my day. I have been reject to have relationships because at some point my “almost become” partner didn’t want me to go traveling especially solo traveling and I thought probably no men would like their partner will do the same thing and I gave up to have relationship for I’m really keen to do traveling a lot but your story enlightening me that there are men out there would be different and have an open minded like your husband. Thank you and keep inspiring!
ellenclaytonburns
Love this post! Couldn’t agree more. This is a wonderfully refreshing read.
jessicareadthis
This is a great post. I guess I’d never really thought about this before. Years ago when my high school sweetheart and I finally parted ways, I reminded myself that he would never want to travel like I did. We are still good friends with very different lives now, but it’s so interesting to think about this. And you’re absolutely right about people thinking it’s weird to travel without your spouse. I think I did until I read this! 🙂
studentsblog16
Came across this and thought “why would anyone in an established relationship NOT want to travel with their partner.” Your reasons are very understandable, It’s good to know see solo traveling being celebrated, we all know exploring the world alone is one of the most rewarding experiences a human being can have. At least those that have done it. And finding someone that allows you to do what you want is very special! Great, unique, post.
braidsbynyabola
Great post! Always good to live your life
Synchronicity
Love it 😊
Natalia
Me ha encantado tu post!! Muchas veces me he oido eso y por ahora no he viajado sola, pero tu post ha movido algo en mi interior que me ha dado fuerza para intentarlo muchas gracias.No dejes de crecer viajando. Grettings from Spain. 😉
Bhaskar S Kumar
Once married solo travel becomes a distant dream. Very few, one in million are capable to solo travelling… I mean for long duration and multiple locations.. Good one, keep going.
Ruta
Loved this unique post! This is wonderful refreshing read. Good to see that Solo travelling being celebrated! Its really amazing to have support of your loved ones in fulfilling your dreams!! Go live your life and keep sharing your travelogues, would love to read it!! Cheers to Life, Enjoy your future ventures!!
Love,
Ruta
Bangalore, India
https://roamingruta.wordpress.com/
Lost20something
Loved this post! I definitely want to try to travel solo. And of course this serves as an awesome reminder to do you! Keep up the good work
Jason Preater
I work as a guide on the Camino de Santiago. I guess 70% of my groups are women at least. I often ask why their husbands don’t come and they say, “Well, travel is my thing,” or “He wouldn’t miss his golf,” or “It’s been the secret of our long marriage.” You can be an independent traveler your whole life and ignore the people who want to tie you down: we really do live parallel lives in the same space; there is no social norm worth following.
Angela
This post was so inspiring and empowering. Thanks for sharing. I’m a single female who loves solo travelling and currently embarking in a solo journey and can totally relate and understand. Keep doing what makes you happy 😊
George
Great to read! I am sure that what you experience and discover and the people you meet on your travels enriches your lies who you are back together again
brianabutler93
Thanks for this! I’m a recent college grad. I got a decent job, and not I’m put in the financial position to be able to venture out and take road trips, even travel to different places every now and then. I have a hard time getting myself to go somewhere because i feel like i need someone to travel to another state with me. The problem is, some of my friends work on the weekends, some have relationships and spend lots of time with their significant other, and some just don’t have the funds to get up and go. I couldn’t even image traveling to another country alone. This post just gave me the inspiration I needed. Thank you.
Mary Anne
Glad I came across this post!! I travelled before i had a serious relationship. Now that I’m married, i wondered if travelling alone would be frowned upon despite my already love for travel before getting married. Great post!
Turningpaper
Such an inspiring piece, Thank you so much for giving me reassurance on travelling alone!
Theformerlypoison
fantastic post i must say!
BJoneswear
I think it is a great way to live your life, honestly do it how ever you want!
PineandTurpentine
I love this. I wish that in my relationship it was that easy to take off for awhile without my significant other having a heart attack.
ohmyword24
Thank you
Leanna
Truly engaging! First of all, love Misadventures as a title. Second photos are on point. Third and most importantly, how do you find your connections? Amazing travels!
Eri Hunt
Wow I really enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing great insight
Chantell of Travel for Your Life
I find it so sad that people assume that just because you’re married you’re no longer allowed to be independent. I’ve read a number of stores about this sort of thing and everyone always plays back being asked questions along the lines of “And your husband lets you do that?”. I can guarantee they would never ask a man that in the reverse situation. I hate the implication that a man owns and controls your decisions if you decide to get married. Good on you for just getting on with what you want to do. Marriage shouldn’t confine you. It should be a partnership
inyourmind2k
A very interesting read! And definitely thought provoking.
prachibisht
You live only once.. and kudos to you for living your life the way you have planned it.. Truly, if your partner or your marriage is the reason behind the fact that you are not able to do what you loved to pursue then i guess there’s no reason to be in that relationship. Keep inspiring us girl..
Marie
Great article, loved reading all the replies I’m also married and travelling alone. It does make you stronger, but sometimes I don’t tell people ; especially if I pick up they are judgemental. Anyway, the way I see it, its no one elses business. I have had some incidents, especially from men, but now I keep everything at arms length, and more open friendly chatting, not too personal.
Enjoy your travels
Ahmed Fayed
Awesome post.
Thanks for sharing.
Things happen. Enjoy your life as it is and do not look back.
tingalingtee
What an incredibly powerful post. I’m a solo traveler and always have been and just beginning to get used to traveling with a partner (but also balancing out my independent travels) I can totally identify with this even when I was single, it’s as if we can never win! I recall my journeys through Asia and having people asked if I had a boyfriend and why I was traveling alone and I’d just simply reply with a light-hearted ‘why not? it’s fun that way too!” I hate that our safety/wellbeing/happiness while traveling seems to be equate to being in a relationship. Great read and thanks for sharing!
Will T.
Love this… just wish my choices years ago could’ve not ruined my adventurous life… I long for adventure and wish my wife of 15 years felt the same. It’s tough, I hold resentment that she “took away” the life I grew up with and enjoyed. Sorry to be negative, just never get it out, always keep it to myself…. happy wife, happy life….
athousandandonebuttons
I am going to Spain and Germany next week! Great article, very encouraging to help us carry on with being individual first eventhought we are partners, mothers, sisters, friends, colleagues,….