[dropcap size=small]I[/dropcap]f you’ve been reading Misadventures faithfully over the past six months, you’ll know that our dearest Franny has been sending us hilarious dispatches from her time spent in Novosibirsk, Russia. This is not an easy task because, well, Russia’s just not that funny. It’s cold, it’s dark, and…it’s Russia.

You haven’t been reading Franny’s dispatches? Get with the program.

Read Franny’s first install­ment detail­ing daily life in a Russ­ian orphan­age here.

Read Franny’s sec­ond install­ment, con­sist­ing of mus­ings on the city of Novosi­birsk, here.

Read Franny’s third install­ment about immi­grant girls here.

Read Franny’s fourth installment about attempting to escape a Russian hospital here.

Read Franny’s fifth installment on sadness here.

Franny just alerted us that she was recently featured on a Russian television program about Americans in Novosibirsk. Entitled “American explorers of Siberia” and aired by MIR24, a film crew captures what we can only guess to be Franny’s home and work life.

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We don’t speak Russian, but what we’ve gleaned is that:
1. Franny is the bringer of chocolate
2. She gets to eat the dinner of our dreams: oversized pancakes, orange soda, and candy bars
3. Russians have a distorted vision of Florida
4. Franny does a pretty good job describing alligators/crocodiles…but it’s unclear if the Russians get the distinction….
5. It’s so dark!
6. Franny’s a better dancer than we could have ever imagined

Click the full-screen viewer on player below for a better view.

Though we can’t understand what’s going on in the video, all of us at Misadventures believe that we couldn’t have a better American representative to the region.

And Franny, eat a hamburger, would ya? You’re looking frail.